


Who We Were Before

by Ihere



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Origin Story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-10 19:08:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5597491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihere/pseuds/Ihere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben Solo always pictured himself as a strong Jedi like the others in his family, but he never foresaw this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a collection of theories from others and of my own.
> 
> I had first planned to have this all in one chapter, but then figured it better to seperate.

Ben Solo is the top student in Master Skywalker’s Jedi training school, and he’s only a teenager. This doesn’t say a lot as he is also the oldest of the other Jedi-in-training, but he is still impressive. Ben was able to master training exercises faster than anyone else in his class. The other students look up to him as a second teacher. And he loves it.

Pride, is something his master warned him of, so Ben will hide it but still have it. But who could blame him for being better than anyone else? He’s the grandson of Anakin Skywalker, one of the strongest Jedi in history. Ben knows that he will one day be on the same level as his master, Luke Skywalker, maybe even best him. Ambition is another problem that can lead one astray, but Ben knows that he’ll never be desperate enough that ambition or pride would destroy him. 

His fellow students sit with Ben as they practice their meditation only to have it broken by their master. “My Padawans,” he addresses them, “we have someone new joining us today.” A small girl stands nervously beside Ben’s uncle. “Her name is Rey.”  

The kids closer to the girl’s age crowd around her and introduce themselves, Ben stays back. He stands up and studies the girl realizing that there is something that completely separates her from all the rest. Ben looks around and realizes none of the other students realize this, but a look at his master shows that he senses it too. 

Master Skywalker looks at his nephew, “I need to speak with you.” Ben follows him to an area where the other students won’t hear. 

“Master, what’s wrong?”  

He sighs, “I’m telling you this because I trust you and need your help.” Ben does his best to hide his smile, there is special treatment that just puts him above the others.

“What is she?”

His master looks over to his other students and sees that the once scared girl has adjusted quickly into making new friends. “I’m not completely sure. Her mother died not long after her birth, and those who cared for Rey after looked to me. They didn’t even know the woman, she showed up to them in labor.”

He looks at his hesitant uncle, “You know something.”

“I suspect that this girl . . is like your grandfather.”

Ben tilts his head confused, “In what way do you mean, Master?”

“The caretakers told me something strange, about the father. That there is none that the mother knows of. She doesn’t know what happened, but I believe that the Force granted her this life to give birth to. The only other time this has been known to happen is with my father.” He takes a deep breath, “ I can feel the Force strong with her, maybe more than when I fought Darth Vader.”

“What does this mean?”

“I’m not sure. I know that this power could corrupt her. That the Dark will try to tempt her as it did with my father, but that is why I need your help to guide her to the Light.” Ben looked at his master who puts a supportive hand on his shoulder, “You are close to becoming a Jedi Knight and no longer my pupil. When you are ready, I want you to take her under your care and train her as your own Padawan.”

Ben tries to hold back a smile, “Master . . . I don’t know what to say.”

“I trust you, Ben. Just tell me that you’ll show her the right path.”

He takes a deep breath, “I will.”

Master Skywalker looks back at her, “Her future's so unclear and open to any path. She doesn’t even have a proper name. Perhaps one day she’ll make herself a full name when she has figured out who she is.” Ben watches as his master leaves to go join his other students.

He looks at the girl unsure of what lies ahead of her. He whispers, “Rey.”

 

. . . 

 

It was strange, Ben found, that he was beginning to plan his future involving a girl ten years younger than him. He would be her master and bring her to her full potential. Then one day, she would follow him as they work together to bring balance as the two most powerful Jedi. So yes, it is strange that his future must now revolve with her close behind, but it isn’t something he’d fight. 

He sits in the back of her class in order to get a clear view of how she does on her first day in training. The area is near a meadow that bring tranquility to Jedi. Rey sits with the other beginners that all look up eagerly at their master. Luke Skywalker sits down with them. “The Force is all around us. It’s surrounds us in living things including you and me. It’s inside us all. It’s what grants the Jedi their strength.” He moves into his meditating position. “Everyone follow me,” the children scramble to follow him, “Now close your eyes. I want you to extend yourselves using the force and tell me what you see.”

Ben smiles to himself remembering when he had to do this his first time. Almost nobody can see very far at all. Only a few exceptions can give a slight detailed description of something a few feet away from them. 

One of the students speaks first, “I see a small bug walking right in front of me.” Another says, “There’s bird flying right above us!” Ben looks over to Rey and notices that her face is strained. 

“Rey? Do you see anything?” Master Skywalker asks.

“Yes,” she says. “I see a bug that’s crawling around the back of the bird trying to avoid being pecked.” 

“And where do you see that?”

Rey takes a deep breath, “Several yards behind me. I believe fourteen.” Ben looks for himself and sees that she is exactly right.

“Very good, Rey,” their master congratulates. “That’s impressive for a first time.” 

Ben looks at the back of her head impressed and nervous, she did far better than him his first try. Even after several months of him practicing. 

 

. . .

 

It’s a few days later when Ben decides to watch her again. The last time only encouraged him to focus on his own skills. This time they were going to levitate small rocks that could fit in the palm of their hands. For children and early beginners, this is task that requires a lot of mental training before they are able to lift it at all. 

But not for Rey. 

Oh yes, Ben can see her struggling as she works to lift the rock, but she is perfectly capable of doing so. She is able to lift it far from the ground to above her head. Rey drops it down slowly and takes deep breaths out of exhaustion, but her fellow students share their excitement and congratulate her. 

Even the older students decided to find some time to watch this gifted girl that was talked about. One student, a couple of years younger than Ben and an admirer of his talents, speaks to him. “She’s amazing. I think she might actually be better than you one day.” The student rushes away when he see the glare that Ben gives him. In fact, Ben is too disgusted to stay near any of them.

But he’s right and Ben realizes that he’s right while walking away. He can see it now, he’s trying to teach her the most difficult of techniques and she can do them perfectly in a few short tries. What will happen when she surpasses him? What student would follow a teacher that isn’t as powerful as them. He’d be a disgrace. 

And what could he do? His master already told him that he was close to being a Jedi Knight. A Jedi Master? Even that power has its limits that Rey could surpass. The teachings that his master gives him are limited. Master Skywalker will never show enough to allow him to reach his full potential. The only way that he could reach out far and beyond that little Rey is if he joined . . .

No.

Betraying his friends and family isn’t worth besting a little girl. Even one like her. Ben rubs his face disgusted that that thought even occurred to him. He’s supposed to be better than that. He is better than that. 

But what is this girl? She’s strong like his grandfather, and from similar origins. She could fall into the dark side like Anakin. But what made him fall? Ben’s master spoke of love blinding him into obsession, but is that all? Luke Skywalker is always vague when explaining his father, but why? Shouldn’t he explain the past mistakes in order to prevent them? Ben needs to know. 


	2. Chapter 2

Ben is able to excuse himself from his training for a few days, as he told his master “I need to figure some things out.” Even though Master Skywalker had some suspicions that Ben could feel, he let him go anyway. Because he trusts him. 

The young Jedi has been planning this trip for some time now. He knows that he can’t simply “look up” his grandfather in the databases. Too much information was lost when the Empire took over. No, the best chance Ben has is to go to his grandfather’s remains. Perhaps the Force there would guide him to his answers.

He lands his ship on Endor, where Luke Skywalker gave his father a Jedi burial.

Ben stands on the forest ground concentrating, he feels the Force pulling him towards an area where he believes his grandfather was laid to rest.

And he was right.

Atop a pyre remains what is left of Anakin Skywalker. Ben cautiously scans the armor, for there is no body or skeleton as it had joined the Force upon death. He can only hope that his grandfather will lead him through the Force. 

The most intact piece of armor that remains is the helmet. It’s charred and lost of its old color and sheen. Ben reminds himself that this once held great fear to its enemies and allies. 

He carefully touches the helmet and a rush of emotions flood into him. Fear. Pride. Compassion. Anger. All of this Ben knows did not come from him, but the man who once wore the helmet. Suddenly, Ben could understand so many of the thoughts and feelings of Darth Vader that were not shared to his son. Ben then realizes that he knows now more of this man than his own master ever would. 

Ben knows that Darth Vader had his own plans for the galaxy. No one could run it properly but him. With a group of people there would be too many arguments before any changes could be made. With a single person they could be corrupted. Only Darth Vader himself could rule the galaxy as it should be for the good of everyone. 

And Ben believes in his ideals. 

He saw that Darth Vader intended for his family to be by his side. That he asked the woman he loved and his son to rule the galaxy with him. But they were too deluded to understand him. 

Ben understands him perfectly clear. The galaxy should have a strong ruler, and who else but the strongest Jedi? And as Darth Vader was gone, that should be Ben. 

 

. . . 

 

Back at the Temple, Ben doesn’t know how to progress with this new mission. If he goes on alone with no one to lead him into the Dark Side, then he’ll fail. But Ben knows that there hasn’t been a Sith Lord since the fall of Darth Vader and the Emperor. 

“Ben.” 

The young man jumps at the sound of his name and turns to find his master standing alone waiting for him. Ben was too preoccupied by his own thoughts to even sense him, this isn’t a mistake that he can continue. “Master.”

“I see that you have returned.”

“Yes. My journey was very enlightening.”

He looks at his pupil with keen eyes, “But I do not believe that you are completely here.”

“Excuse me, sir?”

“I see your mind is somewhere else. That it is clouded by other thoughts.”

Ben takes a deep breath, “I’m sorry, Master. I’ve been very busy lately.”

“I think then that you should meditate soon.” He walks closer, “You need to clear your mind. That will make your path simpler.”

“Yes Master.” Master Skywalker places a comforting hand on Ben’s shoulder. “Wait.” Ben looks to his uncle desperately, “What can you tell me about Darth Vader?” Ben can’t help but hope for the possibility that his own family would understand what he feels. 

Luke drops his hand, “Darth Vader killed Anakin Skywalker. And he died by Anakin’s love. That’s all you need to know.”

“But there’s more to him then that! You know that!”

His master frowns, “Ben-”

“Why won’t you tell me!”

“Ben!” The boy shrinks under his master’s shout, “Enough of this. No good can come from obsession over the past like this. You need to release your thoughts over Darth Vader. Focus on the future.”

Ben uses all his might to hide his rage, “I’m sorry, Master. Perhaps I should go meditate now.” He turns his back and walks away.

“May the Force be with you, nephew.”

 

. . .

 

There is a special place that Ben goes to meditate. It’s an isolated area on the island that’s far from the other Jedi. He’s shaded from the moonbeams with the many tree branches so he sits in the dark and concentrates on finding an answer.

It’s not long before an answer finds him.

_ Ben Solo.  _ He jolts up in his meditating position. 

“What?”

_ Do not fear me, for I have come to your aid, Ben Solo. _ He reaches for his lightsaber.  _ There is no need to draw your weapon, I have not come here to harm you.  _

Ben removes his hand and concentrates on the voice. “Who are you?”

_ I am Snoke. The Leader of The First Order. _

“The First Order? I’ve never heard of it.”

_ No. As we have intended to be kept. The Empire was never completely destroyed, we merely stayed in the shadows to grow. And soon we will be able to start a new war against the galaxy. We will rule once more. _

“Why-” Ben can’t keep his voice calm. “Why are you telling me this?”

_ Because I’ve been following you, Ben Solo. I can feel the anger that flowed in Darth Vader now flows in you. I know you seek to follow the legacy of Darth Vader, and I can help you. I can train you to the ways of the Dark Side of the Force. None shall be able to match your power, not even Luke Skywalker. You will make your Grandfather proud.  _ Ben hears it smirk,  _ I can sense now how excited you are for me to answer your prays.  _

Ben stays silent for a moment, “What must I do?”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are appreciated.


End file.
